Yesterday I read a post about my girly Grace (of my heart) over at " A Sweet Grace" and how, like all of us, Grace had a good cry over her diabetes. Her mother Penny handled it just beautifully - with love, compassion,acceptance, and hope. Her post on the subject is an excellent road map for all of us to follow. Way to go Penny!
I feel for them both. I feel Grace, because I know exactly how she feels.
And I feel for Penny, because as mother/auntie in my case, it breaks your heart to see your child sad.
The following letter is for Grace, and all of us who have ever had a good cry when ever the mood strikes, and continue to do so about our diabetes.
Dear Grace –
How goes things girl? I miss you very much and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of your sparkling blue eyes.
I know that you already know this because I’ve emailed you about it- but I’m so proud of you – your doing some pretty awesome things for a girl who is still in single digit numbers!
Your September’s A1c was AWESOME – and much better than mine!
And when you emailed me about finally putting your pod on your belly – I was so proud and happy that I started jumping for joy!
I really think my neighbors thought I was going crazy! But I didn’t care because Grace of My Heart had just faced one of her biggest fears and WON 20 bucks in the process!
And then when you sent me that video of you singing the song you made up about me,
I started to cry because I loved it and you so much!!
Do you know that every time I get down or frustrated with my diabetes or work, I look at the card you & your mommy sent me – you know the one you guys sent out celebrating your first year diaversary, the one with the different pics of you on it??
I look at your card, and I know that things will get better.
Still Gracie B, I know that it doesn't matter if your a grown up or a kid, sometimes having diabetes can make you feel down.
Every person with diabetes I know has moments that diabetes makes them cry - because they are just plain sick and tired of dealing with diabetes.
It’s not easy having to test your blood sugar in the middle of class, or watch everything that goes in your mouth, or say no to candy when you really say yes, but your blood sugar number screams NO in ALL CAPS.
Being different isn’t easy – and sometimes being different feels like the worst thing in the world.
But you know what Gracie Girl? You’re not alone – even though it might feel that way sometimes.
You have parents and your sisters, who, while not having diabetes, have your back and love you SO MUCH.
They understand what living with diabetes is all about, even though they don’t have diabetes.
They love every part of you, including your diabetes – and they will always be there for you.
You have your friends at school, and even though they might stare when you test your blood sugar, they are still your friends. I
Seriously Gracie, I think the reason they stare is that they might not just because their curious about diabetes - which they totally are.
BUT I think they might actually worry about you and want make sure your OK.
They don’t understand diabetes the way we do Grace – maybe one day when you feel comfortable, you could talk about what having diabetes is like at show and tell.
Want to hear something? I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was 8, and I used to worry about eating in class.
But, I still ate my snacks in the middle Social Studies every morning (and sometimes during gym class) because I knew I had to.
Years and years and years later, a girl who I'd gone to grade school school with emailed me out of the blue.
We began emailing one another and we talked about where our lives had taken us, I asked her if she remembered my diabetes diagnoses and I asked her if I was different little girl when I came back from the hospital.
Do you know what she said???
She told me that what really stuck in her mind and what she remembered most about my diagnoses, was worrying about me, and asking her mom if I was I’d be OK.
All these years later, I had no idea that my classmates actually worried about me – and I wish I’d known that when I was 8. I had worried so much about being different, that I never thought about what was going through my friends 8 year old brains.
And you have your friends from diabetes camp and from the diabetes on-line community – who are just like you and live with diabetes every day. We understand what your going through and we love you.
And like you, our bravery is AWESOME.
We all get frustrated and sad sometimes when it comes to diabetes, we cry.
But our diabetes is a part of who we are – like your blue eyes and my loud laugh.
We can have our moments of sadness about living with our diabetes – and there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as we find our way back to our moments of gladness.
Want to know one of my favorite moments of gladness is about diabetes???
That’s easy; it’s meeting you and becoming friends.
If wasn’t for our diabetes – we never would have met - and I can't imagine not having you as my friend!
And if I we never met, then who would call “Kelly Belly?”
I love ya Gracie and I can't wait to see you !
LOVE,
Kelly Belly
PS: Because I know that you know "that the Bird is the word," but others in the DOC may not - I've posted one of your favorite clips - even though it means I'll be singing this annoying song for the rest of the day!
