Latest Updates
Home » Archive for 01/21/15

I Can't be Funny Today

I Can't be Funny Today
I'm trying to write a post about my sister and for the life of me I can't.

How come I can't physically write about her life and death when I have absolutely no trouble talking about both? I wanted to write about her life, tell her story and give her memory the opportunity to teach others what her struggles have taught me.

I've tried and I can't. There's to much to tell.

I spent all of middle school, high school, and part of college taking care of her with my parents.
I was angry. Angry that she was sick, angry that my siblings lived in different states and couldn't help, angry that my parents health was failing because they ignored themselves to take care of us. Angry that diabetes played a part in it all.

There's volumes to write and I just can't tonight.

In a Cliff Note version that in no way gives her life the justice it deserves:

My sister was funny, difficult, demanding and wanted so much to love and be loved,
that she could strangle you with her efforts.

A diabetic since 12, she coveted sugar in any form.

She worshiped The Beatles and Barry Manilow
She made me listen to The White Album and I loved it.
"I Made It Through The Rain" became her anthem.

She was Manic Depressive
Going into a cleaning frenzy at 2 a.m. with a Hoover and bottle of red wine
I was in 2nd grade and wanted to sleep. I called her a "clean freak"
And reminded her that I had to get for school the next day
I couldn't wait for my parents to get home from vacation.

The middle child of six -
A Hippy
She loved nature
Especially the beach
She would take me there and show me all the wonders of the shore that God had made
In those moments on gray sand and huge surf, I loved her very much.

She taught me how to ride my bike without training wheels
Running beside me and holding me study
Letting go at just the right moment
Still by my side
Cheering me on.

Debbie had a penchant for beer and Black Russians
She'd go missing for a few days and saunter in during breakfast
My parents were angry, yet happy to know that she was alive.
I went off to school and tried to forget the panic of the past few days
And kept what happened to myself.
She lost her job.
Finally, she became a Friend and advocate of Bill W.
When she was in rehab, my brother came home from college
We were wrestling on her bed.
I smelled alcohol and we lifted up the mattress
A broken bottle of rum rested in the springs.
I was in 6th Grade.

Soon after she joined AA, her spiritual self started to rise...
Bt her health went from bad to worse.
Everything did.

When I was a Senior in High School
My parents finally took a vacation -
It was my mothers Ice Capade's reunion.
Debbie had 8 years of sobriety under her belt
She & I were the only ones home
Sobriety ended the afternoon I got of the bus.
The Dr. had given her bad news and she had two bottles of rum delivered.
She was crazy drunk and I had her physically removed from my house and placed in detox.
Neighbors peeked out their windows as she screamed bloody murder.
I went to school everyday and applied and won a Lions Club Scholarship that week.
I would not let my siblings call my parents -
They needed a break.

She got sober again, but her health continued to decline.

In fits of rage she would scream at my parents from the top of the stairs
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, I BLAME U FOR MY F' ED UP DNA"
When we fought, she'd tell me to take a good look, because my life would surely end like hers.
"You'll be dead before your 40," she'd tell me with a smile
In those moments I can honestly say I hated her...
For making my parents cry.

AND secretly fearing her prediction for my future would come true.
"I'll dance on your grave," I said in anger and to hurt.

Her words and my own said in anger paralyzed me for years.

Tomorrow, she will have been dead 17 years.
She was 34 on the day she died, January 22nd, 1991.

Diabetic complications are what killed her.

Heart attacks, strokes, kidney failure, and lungs that had filled up with so much fluid, that she was drowning from with in.

I spent most of my 20's convincing myself that her death hadn't affected me, and the majority of my thirties admitting that it had.

Our last conversation occurred at 2 a.m. 18 hours before she died. Her lungs were filling up with fluid and if they didn't put a four-inch tube in her lungs, she could die. And if they did, she could die.

She looked at me in the eye and said:"It's not that I'm not ready to go, I am....It's the leaving that's hard." We held each other tight not wanting to let go. The rest of our conversation is between her and I.

Her words haunt me to this day.

Debbie, I miss you, I love you, and I wish your life had been different.

I know that there's an ocean in the sky just for you and Daddy, and I hope every day in heaven is a million times better then your best day in Jersey.

My life is good because of what you taught me, and for that I will always be grateful.
I Love You and miss you - Kelly
Posted by Mr. Boy at 14.31, Add Comment
Read more

"This ONe's for You, Wherever You Are."

My sister Debbie and I, circa 1979 - I'm eating my snack and she's lighting a cigarette
We were laughing as my Uncle took this pic -and that's what how I'm trying to remember her today...laughing.

Well, it's been 18 years since you left us Deb, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you and all you went through. The world of diabetes has changed so much and I wish that you could have benefited from all the research.

last year I wrote a post on your life and how you suffered with diabetes. Today, I'm just trying to remember you laughing, because when you laughed, I loved you the most.

To quote Barry Manilow - one of your favorites, "This one's for you, where ever you are."

Hope heaven is all it's cracked up to be and that every day there is better than the one before. Give Daddy a hug and a kiss for me and know that I miss and love you both very much.
Peace~
Posted by Mr. Boy at 09.21, Add Comment
Read more

Dear Debbie: If You Were Here......

Dear Debbie: If You Were Here......
Starry starry night, paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer's day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills, sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills, in colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for you sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how, perhaps they'll listen now.
Don Mclean - Vincent (Starry Starry Night) Lyrics
#####

Dear Debbie -
It was 20 years ago today that you left us.
IF you were here, I'd tell you that I love you; I'm sorry, and that I've thought about you every single day these past 20 years.
IF you were here - I'd hug you more and blame you less.
I'd let things roll of my back and would suggest you do the same.
I would encourage you to seek help for all your problems - both physically & mentally.
I would tell you that so much has changed for the better in the world of diabetes.
If you were here, I'd have more patience and understanding because now I understand you better.
If you were here, I know that you would love and be an active member of the Diabetes on-line community.
Because I seriously believe if the Diabetes On-line community had been around while you were coming into your own,
I know that you'd still be here.
Because you'd no longer feel alone, or different, or crazy,
and you'd possess the technology, the tools, the skills, and the desire to manage your diabetes better.
And you'd have the confidence & the willingness to own your diabetes and face your other issues that held you down and held you back.
Seriously Deb, you'd be amazed at the diabetes technology of today and would welcome it with open arms.
Insulin pumps & cgms would totally blow your mind-
And the fact that you'd be able to test your blood in 5 seconds would make you smile.
Debbie, If you were here, I'd try and make you laugh more and cry less and I'd force you to grab all the golden rings that life has to offer - regardless of gentics or diabetes!
If you were here......
I'd hold you tight - because I know much more than I did then.
Posted by Mr. Boy at 06.34, Add Comment
Read more

The absurdity of the denialists

The absurdity of the denialists
Readers of this blog will notice than whenever a posting is made, there are people responding whose sole intention is to rubbish homeopathy as a safe and effective medical therapy. We call them denialists. What they are doing has been described very effectively at the following website. Please take a look.

http://www.1023homeopathy.org.uk/1/post/2010/01/the-absurdity-of-the-denialists.html
Posted by Mr. Boy at 06.20, Add Comment
Read more

Luc Montagnier - Nobel Science winner on Homeopathy

Luc Montagnier - Nobel Science winner on Homeopathy
Now for something about a real scientist! Virologist, and Nobel Science winner (2008), Luc Montagnier says that DNA molecules can 'teleport'; and the question is, is this how science is eventually going to explain how homeopathy works?

Let's be clear. Homeopathy is an effective and safe medical therapy. It does not need an explanation for why it works so well for over 200 years. But science does need to be able to explain it. After all, this is what science, real science, is all about - explaining what is happening in the world to us!

And homeopaths, so much under attack from so-called 'scientists' or homeopathy denialists, would certainly like to know why, what we do, works!

So this is how his work has been described:
http://www.pcworld.com/article/216767/dna_molecules_can_teleport_nobel_winner_says.html

"According to a team headed by Luc Montagnier, previously known for his work on HIV and AIDS, two test tubes, one of which contained a tiny piece of bacterial DNA, the other pure water, were surrounded by a weak electromagnetic field of 7Hz.

Eighteen hours later, after DNA amplification using a polymerase chain reaction, as if by magic the DNA was detectable in the test tube containing pure water.
Oddly, the original DNA sample had to be diluted many times over for the experiment to work, which might explain why the phenomenon has not been detected before, assuming that this is what has happened.
The phenomenon might be very loosely described as 'teleportation' except that the bases project or imprint themselves across space rather than simply moving from one place to another.
To be on the safe side, Montagnier then compared the results with controls in which the time limit was lowered, no electromagnetic field was present or was present but at lower frequencies, and in which both tubes contained pure water. On every one of these, he drew a blank.
The quantum effect - the imprinting of the DNA on the water - is not in itself the most contentious element of the experiment, so much as the relatively long timescales over which it appears to manifest itself. Quantum phenomena are assumed to show their faces in imperceptible fractions of a second and not seconds minutes and hours, and usually at very low temperatures approaching absolute zero.
Revealing a process through which biology might display the underlying 'quantumness' of nature at room temperature would be startling.
His work is clearly at its early stages. He recognises that what he has discovered will have to be replicated. But he is optimistic, and he says he knows that his work might be an explanation for homeopathy. This is what he said in a recent interview.
"I was skeptical myself in the beginning. But these are facts. The findings are reproducible and we are waiting for confirmation from other labs".
Asked if he thought there was 'something in' homeopathy, he said this:
"I can't say that homeopathy is right in everything. What I can say is that the high dilutions are right. High dilutions are something, not nothing. They are water structures which mimic the original molecules. We find that with DNA we cannot work in the high dilutions used in homeopathy..... but even at 10:18 you can calculate that there is not a single molecule of DNA left. And yet we detect a signal.
I understand that 'homeopathy denialists' are planning to start a campaign soon which says 'there is nothing in homeopathy'. Now we know that a Noble Prize winning scientist disagrees with them!

Posted by Mr. Boy at 05.51, Add Comment
Read more

The downfall of science and the rise of intellectual tyranny

The downfall of science and the rise of intellectual tyranny
If science is seen to support and underlay Big Pharma (and their noxious, toxic drugs), it is 'science' and its reputation that has the most to lose.

http://www.naturalnews.com/031073_science_tyranny.html

The very reputation of so-called "science" has been irreparably damaged by the invocation of the term "science" by GMO lackeys, pesticide pushers, mercury advocates and fluoride poisoners who all claim to have science on their side. It seems that every toxin, contamination and chemical disaster that now infects our planet has been evangelized in the name of "science."

Where "science" used to be highly regarded in the 1950's, today the term is largely exploited by pharmaceutical companies, biotech giants and chemical companies to push their own for-profit agendas. Actual science has little to do with the schemes now being pushed under the veil of science.

To make matters even worse for the sciences, many so-called "science bloggers" have been revealed to have financial ties to the very same companies whose profits are shored up by their activities (http://www.ageofautism.com/2010/08/...).

Rather than defending any sort of scientific truth, science bloggers have become the internet whores of Big Pharma, Monsanto, pesticide manufacturers, chemical companies and toxic mercury factories. There's hardly a dangerous chemical in widespread use today that the science bloggers haven't venomously defended as safe and effective. Many are just blatantly paid off by corporate entities to run around the internet pushing GMOs, chemicals and vaccines.

The Natural News article goes on - and I wish that I could claim credit for this article. As many readers of this blog will know, this blog has been littered with so-called 'science' bloggers since it began. Homeopaths call them homeopathy deniers - because they don't want you to know how effective homeopathy is. The Black Duck, Stephanie, Jerome - all of them - speaking as though what they are saying is 'scientific'. It is not. They speak for these industries, and are probably paid by them through their PR companies. They talk about 'evidence based medicine' which in truth has become the 2nd or 3rd biggest killer in the western, industrialised world.

Please read the whole Natural News article, it is certainly worth the effort. If real science is to be saved we all need to know what this article is telling us.
Posted by Mr. Boy at 05.07, Add Comment
Read more